Sehari Sejuta Makna

Haaah….. UTS udah di depan mata tapi gue masih ngerasa otak gue blank dan belom keisi apa2.

Seharian ini gue merasa lelah banget. Bukan lemah fisik, tapi lebih tepatnya lemah batin. Banyak hal yang bisa gue tangkep dari hari ini walaupun gue cuma di rumah doang.

Pertama. Gue lelah karena setiap ada tugas kelompok selalu gue yang paling aktif. Bukan apa-apa, gue itu orangnya khawatiran, gue takut tugas kelompok ga selesai dengan maksimal dan ga dapet nilai. Perfectionist? Nggak juga. Ambi? Bukan gue banget L Mungkin dulu sih iya gue ambi, ikut lomba sana sini. Tapi sekarang? Ga bisa. Gue udah gabisa ambi lagi. Gue lelah karena tiap ada tugas pasti gue jadi inisiatornya yang endingnya gue juga yang jadi ‘pekerja’nya. Kalau kata ayah, kita harus ikhlas. Kalau nilai full buat gue sih nggak apa-apa gue ikhlas, tapi kalau tetep aja dibagi2 nilainya? Fine. Gue lelah. Pelajaran berharga banget adalah gue harus belajar ikhlas. Hem mungkin di aspek lainnya gue ga harus ikhlas makanya cobaan keikhlasan gue terakumulasi di aspek ini.

Ketika mereka meminta tolong (entah ini minta tolong apa nyuruh) gue ngerjain, gue ngerasa ingin teriak ke mereka ‘guys, please. I’m so tired of these fucking things! Have you ever think about my feeling?’ Lelah, lelah banget. Kalau gue tolak yaaa ini tugas gue juga, entar yang kena imbasnya kan gue juga. Yaudahlah, kembali gue mencoba ikhlas. Tapi hari ini, gue cukup puas dengan diri gue sendiri yang berhasil melawan rasa ga enak yang selalu membayangi hidup gue. Gue berhasil menolak suatu kerjaan dan gue serahkan ke mereka. Tadinya, gue bahkan gamau ngerjain part gue. Tapi gue kembali mengalah pada rasa ga enak gue. Jujur, gue ga tenang. Gue gatau apa kabarnya tugas itu, apa udah selesai apa belom. Tapi, gue pengen sekali-kali merasakan jadi mereka. Melepas dan seakan-akan ga taua kalo gue punya tugas. Tapiiiiii, kembali lagi. Ini tugas gue (yang sebenernya tugas kelompok). Gue ga bisa kayak gini. Satu kunci yang bener-bener solusinya, ikhlas. Gue harus ikhlas. Gue mungkin boleh lelah sama hal-hal itu. Tapi gue ga boleh lelah untuk ikhlas.

Kedua. Ada sebuah cerita di hari ini yang amat teramat bikin gue bingung dan jadi serba salah. Oke, emang gue yang salah. Tapi ini bikin gue resah banget.  Mungkin ga semua tau kalo gue itu orangnya suka banget upload foto-foto ke facebook. Salah satunya tadi siang gue upload foto-foto pas lagi timbil BEM. Gue, selama ini, kalau upload foto seringnya via bb dan gue sendiri juga jarang banget tag foto ke orangnya gitu. Males. Pas tadi gue selesai upload yaa gue biasa aja, gue tenang-tenang aja. Gue ga tag-in orang-orang di foto tersebut. Nggak berapa lama kemudian, notif di fb banyak banget gitu. Gue buka via bb taunya ada *pake inisial aja ya* F, M dan R dan beberapa orang lainnya yang gue ga kenal comment di salah satu foto yang gue upload. Hemm gue gatau awalnya, gue sempet comment juga lah disana bilang kalo tujuan gue upload yaa emang pengen upload aja, bukan karena pengen bikin suatu hal yang kontroversial. Karena jujur, gue pun ga memikirkan hal-hal lain selain mau upload foto-foto itu aja. Terus kan gue tinggal tidur tuh. Pas gue bangun, gue liat bb gue, notif fb banyak banget. Gue Cuma buka tapi ga gue liat, karena gue males. Setelah itu, kan gue sempet wasapan sama seseorang yang ada di foto kontroversial yang gue upload itu. Biasa sih, bercanda standard gitu karena kita masih sama-sama gatau. Sampai akhirnya orang tersebut bilang kalau foto yang gue upload itu udah bikin heboh temen2nya. Gue kan bingung yaa kok bisa pada tau foto itu, pas gue cek ternyata ada tag-an ke orang tersebut di foto itu. Dan yang bikin gue tambah kaget adalah yang nge-tag adalah gue. Gue ga ngerti lagi deh. Soalnya gue ga ngetag foto ke siapa2, gue sendiri pun enggak. Pas gue tanya temen gue lainnya, ternyata ada fasilitas tag otomatis gitu dari fb. Gue emang ngeklik dua kali gitu pas upload, gue gatau kalo ternyata klik yang kedua kalinya itu adalah untuk tag otomatis. Iya sih gue sempet bingung gitu pas upload pake web tadi. Ini salah gue karena gue ga teliti karena gue ga liat-liat dulu sebelum bertindak. Salah gue ga mikir lagi. Salah gue. Dan sekarang pun gue digandrungi rasa yang amat teramat ga enak dan ngerasa bersalah banget sama temen gue itu. Di a bilang sih gapapa, selow, lupain. Tapi tetep gue ga enak karena gue tau gue udah salah ke dia. Karena katanya, foto-foto itu pun nyampe ke guru-gurunya. Gue ga enak, sumpah ga enak. Maafin gue yaa L

Banyak hal sebenenrya yang gue dapetin dari hari ini. 24 jam yang belum selesai gue habiskan di hari ini, tapi udah memberikan banyak makna ke gue. Lebih baik ke depannya dan nggak mengulangi kesalahan yang sudah diperbuat adalah kuncinya. Bismillah 

My First Writing Class!!!

(Copas-ed from my wordpress)

Hello blogs! Welcome to my first wordpress hehehe. Actually this wordpress is made specially to APSIA’s task hehe because it is too impossible if I use my old blog.

Kay, now I want to tell you about my first class in APSIA last week. It was my first training class in APSIA. It was so memorable and I had have fun there.

My first class is writing class. I was very exciting. In our first writing class, we have 2 sessions of how to be a good writer and about creative learning. In the first session, we got Kak Diego, the student of FIB UI that now is in progress to make a final project (good luck kak!) and also the writer of the novel ‘blablabla’. And we also had bang Boim, one of the characters in LUPUS and also he is the writer of sooooo many novels that maybe we all know them. And in the second session, we had kak Arry and kak Windy as our speakers. Kak Arry is the student of FT UI and he is the article writer that successfully got so many awards. And the last, we had kak Windy, the editor and also the writer of so many novels. She is also often be the speaker of how to be a creativewriter.

In the first session,  I learned about how to be success writer through following your passion. He told us not to be a looser so he gave us some tips and tricks how to be a good and inspiring writer:

1. You may not be able to cry If that can’t be a royalty for you
2. There is no exception for the things that we like. So, if you like something, there is no reason to do it
3. There is no a high-dream, there is a lack of effort
4. Do not ever give yourself a limitation
5. If you want to do something, you must find out you uniqueness
6. If you want to start write something, you must know correctly who is your target that will read your text
7. Do something you like consistently and continuesly
8. Be more creative
9. Art is so cliché so you have to know how the best way to present that.

He was also gave us 6 things that must be remember if we want to be a creativewriter:

1. diction and style

2. viewpoint

3. dialogue and narration

4. characterization

5. showing or telling

6.do  research

in the first session, beside Kak Diego, we also had Bang Boim, the writer of LUPUS. He thought us about how to be an inspiring writer. There are some tips and tricks that he gave us:

1. We have to work on what we knoe. We have to explore them and find out what we have’nt know yet
2. We have to know what is our strength and what is our weakness. So we can explore ourselves to be better one
3. If you want to start write something, you have to learn and know what is the phenomena that happened around us\
4. We have to cleaverly combine the characters that we have.

In the second session, we had kak Ali Rahmawan and Mbak Windy.

Ali Rahmawan is the student of faculty of engineering at university of Indonesia. He is the socialpreneur. He told us to always follow our passion and do what we like. So, we can get the double successful. In the last year, he successfully released 500 articles, 5 books and got 25 awards. He also have his own website,www.arryrahmawan.net and his own publisher.

He gave us 3 tips to be good writer: focus on what we do, act, and respect to time. He was also said that if we wanto to be a writer, do not ever think about other things except you only want to share what you know to other through your text. The last sentence that he said is, to be a good writer, we have to read a lot and write a lot.

And this is the last session. Mbak Windy, the writer and editor at Gagas Mesdia publisher as the speaker. In this session, I learned practically how to be creativewriter. First, I learned how to be a fast writer through  tell everyone about my future. And next we learned to be creativewriter with build a story through 6 words only. For example, the legend six-words-sotry from Ernest Hemmingwey. For sale: Baby’s Shoes Never Worn. It is actually a sad story that told us about a couple that really want to have a baby but they never had. after that, she though us some tips and tricks:

1. We heave to write what we know with unusual way
2. Do not ever reject the change, because it will ‘kill’ yourself
3. Read a lot to get more inspiration
4. Write down your ideas wherever and whenever you are in a note
5. You have to practice to write quickly
6. If you want to write something, you have to make a plots that answered the cause and effect things. You also have to tell something once.
7. You have to know what is happening around you to get the right theme that has booming in community
8. And the last, she told us that creativity is made by a question not from a statement.

Those are all about that I got from my first writing class in apsia. It was so inspiring and insightful. Thankyou APSIA 

She is not me

Can you feel love tonight? No? Of course, no. Because she is not me, rite? :')

If you want to know what I am feeling inside, I just feel like.... I'm kinda starting to fall in love with you. Am I wrong? Yes, I am.

Voiceless & Soulastic; Bukan Dirimu

"Ku coba dekati pada suatu hari

Sebuah cinta yang telah terlewati
Kau bersikap manis, kau curi hatiku
Namun kau tak sendiri

Dan di belakangmu seseorang menunggu
Engkau sebut dia pujaan hatimu
Ku hanya terdiam tak dapat berkata
Karena ku tahu kau memilihnya

Dan tak ada dirimu untukku
Berbahagialah dirimu dan dirinya
Kini ku sadar ku bukanlah milik dirimu
Ku hanya seseorang yang terlupakan

Bayangmu yang semu memperhatikanku
Memberikan satu harapan kelabu ooh
Dirimu dirinya sudahlah tak akan berpisah
Walau ku berharap sebaliknya

Dan tak ada dirimu untukku
Berbahagialah dirimu dan dirinya
Kini ku sadar ku bukanlah milik dirimu
Ku hanya seseorang yang terlupakan

Dan tak ada dirimu untukku
Berbahagialah dirimu dan dirinya
Kini ku sadar ku bukanlah milik dirimu
Ku hanya seseorang yang terlupakan

Berbahagialah…
Kini ku sadar ku bukanlah milik dirimu
Ku hanya seseorang yang terlupakan"

-GAS-

Dunno why, I just feel so......

Lelah adalah ketika lo menyimpan terlalu banyak hal di dalam diri lo dan lo gatau harus gimana. Hai, gue Agis. Gue adalah orang yang tertutup. Gue paling ga suka menceritakan permasalahan gue ke orang lain even sama kedua orang tua gue sendiri. Bukan karena gue ga percaya atau apa, tapi gue merasa terlalu banyak hal yang lebih baik gue simpen sendiri demi kebaikan semua. Tapi gue adalah orang yang open banget kalo ada yang mau curhat ke gue. Gue seneng dengerin orang curhat dan membantu memberikan solusi untuk mereka. Selain itu gue juga bisa banyak belajar dari permasalahan-permasalahan yang dimiliki orang lain.

Gue, Agis. Orang yang sering banget over-thinking tentang sesuatu hal sampe-sampe gue takut sendiri. Kadang gue menilai itu baik untuk gue berfikir the worst and the best of something tapi kadang itu membuat gue takut bertindak.

Gue, Agis. Orang yang sering kali menangis tanpa sebab kalau gue merasa hal-hal yang gue simpan sudah terlalu banyak. Gue nangis begitu saja, tiba-tiba keluar air mata. Setelah itu, gue merasa lega eventhough everything haven’t solved yet.

Gue belakangan ini mulai menyadari. Segitu rapuhnya kah gue? Gue rapuh? Hahaha kalo gue bilang ini pasti banyak yang ga percaya. Gimana seorang Gisty Ajeng Septami, seorang anak perempuan yang dari dulu, dari kecil sudah begitu tegarnya menghadapi ketidakadilan dunia ini, mengalami jatuh bangunnya kehidupan, seseorang yang dikenal periang dan enak diajak bercanda, rapuh? Haha. Jujur, gue gatau apa aja yang gue pendam sampe gue merasa hati ini sudah terlalu sesak, otak ini sudah terlalu penuh menampungnya. Gue gatau. Perasaan ini sering kali datang tanpa permisi dulu, tanpa bilang-bilang dulu ke gue sampe gue gatau gini. Huft!.

Sekarang ini, ketika gue ngetik postingan ini, iTunes gue ngeputerin lagu-lagu yang sebagian besar emang galau. Tapi tepat pas gue lagi ngetik ini, yang lagi keputer adalah Last Friday Night-Katy Perry. Gue dengerin ini pake headphone sehingga gue bener-bener fokus dengerinnya. Tapi bagaimana bisa, lagu sengebeat ini ga bisa menghambat gue menangis even untuk sekadar menikmati permainan saxophone-nya Kenny G. Lagi-lagi, gue gatau.

Gue ga suka dan gamau menyebut diri gue rapuh. No! gue ga rapuh! Mungkin gue hanya belum bisa manage emosi gue dan manage diri gue sendiri untuk menghadapi diri gue sendiri. Tapi sungguh, dada ini terlalu sesak untuk menampung semuanya. Gue lelah. Gue lelah untuk terus menghindar menyebut diri gue rapuh. Gue..... ga...... rapuh...... sungguh. Gue hanya lelah. Lelah.

-GAS-

Summary of Some Talkshows in Grand Launching and Consolidation APSIA UI

Grand Launching Apsia UI was held on November 23, 2012. Apsia UI officially launched by the director of students University of Indonesia, Mr. khamaruddin. First of all, we did our ceremony that also we should do that everytime we have an activity together. The ceremony opened by singing our national anthem then continued by read a Champion Pledge together. And here it is, the Champion Pledge:

Champion Pledge

How we wish our country knows that we love them more than we did.

We are proud when our souls died as a ransom to the honour of Indonesia

Or a price for the enforcement of glory, honor, and realization of the ideals of Indonesia.

Nothing could make us like this, other than the love that has made our hearts touched, which runs our feelings, squeezes out our tears and eliminates the sleepiness of our eyelids.

How sore we feel in our hearts, watching the disasters that tore this nation apart, while we just give in to humiliation and surrender to despair.

For thee sake of God the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, we pledge solemnly, freely, and upon our honor.

We will achieve excellence by improving the capacity of academic and personal development

We will always firm in honesty and integrity

We will have noble character wherever and whenever we are

We will use our knowledge and influence to contribute to society

We will always strive with sincerity and responsibility, no matter how hard it is

We want people to know that we carry a pure mission, free from personal ambition, free of the interest of the world, and free of lust.

We do not expect anything else from the mankind, do not expect property or other benefits, nor fame, or even just a thank you.

What we hope is the creation of a better Indonesia and the blessing of God – The Creator of the universe

After di the ceremony, we got some inspirational speech by Mrs. Riri, one of teacher from Fasilkom. She had so many great experience. She also had so many inspirational statements that can grow my motivation up. These are some of her statements that I wrote on my notes:

1.      Fortunately, Indonesia has a ‘bonus of demography’. Demography itself has a definition as the study of human population dynamics, including the size, structure,a and the distribution of the population. Indonesia has so many citizens and it gives so many benefits for Indonesia. With abundant of human resources makes Indonesia easier to get labors. But unfortunately, we have less role model to be our references. Most of us have an exemplary from another country. One of her statement that I’ve remember is: “we are who attending here, especially you are who joining in apsia, who have an internationally intelegent, must be the next Indonesia role models”

2.      We all know that it’s so that not easy to be succeed. There is so many obstacles. But, the one that you have to always remember is: do not ever give up on you own way that you choose. Imagine that your goal is like a mountain top. There is so many ways to get your goal. But remember, do not ever change your ‘mountain’ and turn into another mountain. You will get nothing but the goal that you can’t reach. Ever. Plan your activities everyday. At least you have 5 activities that you have planned and it must be done, successfully. It helps you to manage yourself.

3.      Expand your networking and do not ever lost your opportunity that you have. Opportunity does not come twice. If someone needs your help, eventhough you cannot do that correctly, accept that challenge. You can learn from what you do.

4.      Do not ever compete with another else but compete with ourselves. Can we do and achieve what we want without any ego from ourseleves?

5.      If we stand 2 minutes longer than the others, we will be more successful or successful than the first.

6.      Try to always listening what your around saying. It will help you to instropect yourself and also maybe you will get another inspiration from them. And sometime God’s message is undirectly sent from your friends.

7.      Success is not always being smart. Do whatever consistently is more important. Running something continues and continuosly.

8.      Do what you love and love what you do

9.      You have to stand on your own feet. Be independent and do not hang yourself up on another else

10.  Be faithful to your future. No pain, no gain, no shortcut.

11.  Do not compare yourself with others. Be yourself and do be shy to be different. It will makes you more comfortable.

12.  Ask less, give more.

13.  Be careful everytime you act because your personality will reflected by your action.

On the second day the consolidation of apsia UI, we got another inspirational speech from kak Big Zaman. I got some points from his speech. Here it is:

1.      Character building has 3 main concepts: competence, have a strong character and also give some contributions.

2.      Assume that we are the pearl. So you will know that the pearl will always shinning wherever it is

3.      Nowadays, we are facing some problems or something like obstacle that inhibit us to achieve our goals. 1) we are lack of gratitude. 2) we cannot control ourselves and we haven’t finished our problem yet before act to our environment. 3) secularism, the concept that separate between the secular and religious, is have been wider

4.      What you think is what you do is who you are

5.      Achievement is not always in the street with flowers.

6.      Passion, find and live it! Find your way, get your own star, not only for you, but for everyone.

After that, kak Iqbal also gave us 10 characters of winner:

1        Good faith; as a winner, we must be have a faith to a God. Remember who is the Creator of us.

2        Right devotion

3        Strong character

4        Physical power

5        Brilliant thought

6        Continence

7        Good time management

8        Well organized

9        Independent

10    Giving contribution

On the third day, we also had another great speakers with great experience too. The first one, we had Kak Jiwo. He is a fresh graduates from FISIP UI, 3 years ago. He is one of the founder of FLAC (Future Leaders Anti Corruption). Future Leaders Anti Corruption (FLAC) INDONESIA is such a Social Movement initiator, which brings passion for fight corruption in Indonesia with some fun activities and a target is children. He asks children to avoid corruption by giving them some storytelling so it must be more attractive and innovative for children. He want to embed a anti corruption value for children. He also told us to always following our passion and do not be afraid if you want to take something serious with the fun way. It sometimes easier to do. He also gave us some spirit to not to give up whatever it takes. He told us that he had been rejected by one director of company because she doubted about FLAC. But after FLAC Indonesia successfully went to Brazil and did some storytelling there, that director went back to FLAC and offered to do a cooperation. Do not ever doubt yourself eventhough everyone around you do. Because only you that know what exactly happened.

The last speaker that we had is Revaldo Fanther. He also fresh graduated from mechanics engineering UI. He currently being a motivator and he had so many inspirational storie for us. He told us that we actually have so many ways to achieve our goals if we open our mind and see all chances around us. Wherever we stand, we will find our own way to get knowledge. He said that the weakness of Indonesia’ young people is they are less giving contribution for our beloved country. They more likely to do makes happy themselves without seeing their environment. And the last one that he said to us is: be impactfull Indonesia youth! And do not stop to giving contribution for our country.

-GAS-