Sunday, December 2, 2012

She is not me


Can you feel love tonight? No? Of course, no. Because she is not me, rite? :')

If you want to know what I am feeling inside, I just feel like.... I'm kinda starting to fall in love with you. Am I wrong? Yes, I am.

Voiceless & Soulastic; Bukan Dirimu


"Ku coba dekati pada suatu hari
Sebuah cinta yang telah terlewati
Kau bersikap manis, kau curi hatiku
Namun kau tak sendiri

Dan di belakangmu seseorang menunggu
Engkau sebut dia pujaan hatimu
Ku hanya terdiam tak dapat berkata
Karena ku tahu kau memilihnya

Dan tak ada dirimu untukku
Berbahagialah dirimu dan dirinya
Kini ku sadar ku bukanlah milik dirimu
Ku hanya seseorang yang terlupakan

Bayangmu yang semu memperhatikanku
Memberikan satu harapan kelabu ooh
Dirimu dirinya sudahlah tak akan berpisah
Walau ku berharap sebaliknya

Dan tak ada dirimu untukku
Berbahagialah dirimu dan dirinya
Kini ku sadar ku bukanlah milik dirimu
Ku hanya seseorang yang terlupakan

Dan tak ada dirimu untukku
Berbahagialah dirimu dan dirinya
Kini ku sadar ku bukanlah milik dirimu
Ku hanya seseorang yang terlupakan

Berbahagialah…
Kini ku sadar ku bukanlah milik dirimu
Ku hanya seseorang yang terlupakan"

-GAS-

Dunno why, I just feel so......


Lelah adalah ketika lo menyimpan terlalu banyak hal di dalam diri lo dan lo gatau harus gimana. Hai, gue Agis. Gue adalah orang yang tertutup. Gue paling ga suka menceritakan permasalahan gue ke orang lain even sama kedua orang tua gue sendiri. Bukan karena gue ga percaya atau apa, tapi gue merasa terlalu banyak hal yang lebih baik gue simpen sendiri demi kebaikan semua. Tapi gue adalah orang yang open banget kalo ada yang mau curhat ke gue. Gue seneng dengerin orang curhat dan membantu memberikan solusi untuk mereka. Selain itu gue juga bisa banyak belajar dari permasalahan-permasalahan yang dimiliki orang lain.
Gue, Agis. Orang yang sering banget over-thinking tentang sesuatu hal sampe-sampe gue takut sendiri. Kadang gue menilai itu baik untuk gue berfikir the worst and the best of something tapi kadang itu membuat gue takut bertindak.
Gue, Agis. Orang yang sering kali menangis tanpa sebab kalau gue merasa hal-hal yang gue simpan sudah terlalu banyak. Gue nangis begitu saja, tiba-tiba keluar air mata. Setelah itu, gue merasa lega eventhough everything haven’t solved yet.
Gue belakangan ini mulai menyadari. Segitu rapuhnya kah gue? Gue rapuh? Hahaha kalo gue bilang ini pasti banyak yang ga percaya. Gimana seorang Gisty Ajeng Septami, seorang anak perempuan yang dari dulu, dari kecil sudah begitu tegarnya menghadapi ketidakadilan dunia ini, mengalami jatuh bangunnya kehidupan, seseorang yang dikenal periang dan enak diajak bercanda, rapuh? Haha. Jujur, gue gatau apa aja yang gue pendam sampe gue merasa hati ini sudah terlalu sesak, otak ini sudah terlalu penuh menampungnya. Gue gatau. Perasaan ini sering kali datang tanpa permisi dulu, tanpa bilang-bilang dulu ke gue sampe gue gatau gini. Huft!.
Sekarang ini, ketika gue ngetik postingan ini, iTunes gue ngeputerin lagu-lagu yang sebagian besar emang galau. Tapi tepat pas gue lagi ngetik ini, yang lagi keputer adalah Last Friday Night-Katy Perry. Gue dengerin ini pake headphone sehingga gue bener-bener fokus dengerinnya. Tapi bagaimana bisa, lagu sengebeat ini ga bisa menghambat gue menangis even untuk sekadar menikmati permainan saxophone-nya Kenny G. Lagi-lagi, gue gatau.
Gue ga suka dan gamau menyebut diri gue rapuh. No! gue ga rapuh! Mungkin gue hanya belum bisa manage emosi gue dan manage diri gue sendiri untuk menghadapi diri gue sendiri. Tapi sungguh, dada ini terlalu sesak untuk menampung semuanya. Gue lelah. Gue lelah untuk terus menghindar menyebut diri gue rapuh. Gue..... ga...... rapuh...... sungguh. Gue hanya lelah. Lelah.

-GAS-

Summary of Some Talkshows in Grand Launching and Consolidation APSIA UI


Grand Launching Apsia UI was held on November 23, 2012. Apsia UI officially launched by the director of students University of Indonesia, Mr. khamaruddin. First of all, we did our ceremony that also we should do that everytime we have an activity together. The ceremony opened by singing our national anthem then continued by read a Champion Pledge together. And here it is, the Champion Pledge:

Champion Pledge

How we wish our country knows that we love them more than we did.
We are proud when our souls died as a ransom to the honour of Indonesia
Or a price for the enforcement of glory, honor, and realization of the ideals of Indonesia.

Nothing could make us like this, other than the love that has made our hearts touched, which runs our feelings, squeezes out our tears and eliminates the sleepiness of our eyelids.

How sore we feel in our hearts, watching the disasters that tore this nation apart, while we just give in to humiliation and surrender to despair.

For thee sake of God the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, we pledge solemnly, freely, and upon our honor.

We will achieve excellence by improving the capacity of academic and personal development
We will always firm in honesty and integrity
We will have noble character wherever and whenever we are
We will use our knowledge and influence to contribute to society
We will always strive with sincerity and responsibility, no matter how hard it is

We want people to know that we carry a pure mission, free from personal ambition, free of the interest of the world, and free of lust.

We do not expect anything else from the mankind, do not expect property or other benefits, nor fame, or even just a thank you.

What we hope is the creation of a better Indonesia and the blessing of God – The Creator of the universe

After di the ceremony, we got some inspirational speech by Mrs. Riri, one of teacher from Fasilkom. She had so many great experience. She also had so many inspirational statements that can grow my motivation up. These are some of her statements that I wrote on my notes:

1.      Fortunately, Indonesia has a ‘bonus of demography’. Demography itself has a definition as the study of human population dynamics, including the size, structure,a and the distribution of the population. Indonesia has so many citizens and it gives so many benefits for Indonesia. With abundant of human resources makes Indonesia easier to get labors. But unfortunately, we have less role model to be our references. Most of us have an exemplary from another country. One of her statement that I’ve remember is: “we are who attending here, especially you are who joining in apsia, who have an internationally intelegent, must be the next Indonesia role models”
2.      We all know that it’s so that not easy to be succeed. There is so many obstacles. But, the one that you have to always remember is: do not ever give up on you own way that you choose. Imagine that your goal is like a mountain top. There is so many ways to get your goal. But remember, do not ever change your ‘mountain’ and turn into another mountain. You will get nothing but the goal that you can’t reach. Ever. Plan your activities everyday. At least you have 5 activities that you have planned and it must be done, successfully. It helps you to manage yourself.
3.      Expand your networking and do not ever lost your opportunity that you have. Opportunity does not come twice. If someone needs your help, eventhough you cannot do that correctly, accept that challenge. You can learn from what you do.
4.      Do not ever compete with another else but compete with ourselves. Can we do and achieve what we want without any ego from ourseleves?
5.      If we stand 2 minutes longer than the others, we will be more successful or successful than the first.
6.      Try to always listening what your around saying. It will help you to instropect yourself and also maybe you will get another inspiration from them. And sometime God’s message is undirectly sent from your friends.
7.      Success is not always being smart. Do whatever consistently is more important. Running something continues and continuosly.
8.      Do what you love and love what you do
9.      You have to stand on your own feet. Be independent and do not hang yourself up on another else
10.  Be faithful to your future. No pain, no gain, no shortcut.
11.  Do not compare yourself with others. Be yourself and do be shy to be different. It will makes you more comfortable.
12.  Ask less, give more.
13.  Be careful everytime you act because your personality will reflected by your action.

On the second day the consolidation of apsia UI, we got another inspirational speech from kak Big Zaman. I got some points from his speech. Here it is:

1.      Character building has 3 main concepts: competence, have a strong character and also give some contributions.
2.      Assume that we are the pearl. So you will know that the pearl will always shinning wherever it is
3.      Nowadays, we are facing some problems or something like obstacle that inhibit us to achieve our goals. 1) we are lack of gratitude. 2) we cannot control ourselves and we haven’t finished our problem yet before act to our environment. 3) secularism, the concept that separate between the secular and religious, is have been wider
4.      What you think is what you do is who you are
5.      Achievement is not always in the street with flowers.
6.      Passion, find and live it! Find your way, get your own star, not only for you, but for everyone.

After that, kak Iqbal also gave us 10 characters of winner:

1        Good faith; as a winner, we must be have a faith to a God. Remember who is the Creator of us.
2        Right devotion
3        Strong character
4        Physical power
5        Brilliant thought
6        Continence
7        Good time management
8        Well organized
9        Independent
10    Giving contribution

On the third day, we also had another great speakers with great experience too. The first one, we had Kak Jiwo. He is a fresh graduates from FISIP UI, 3 years ago. He is one of the founder of FLAC (Future Leaders Anti Corruption). Future Leaders Anti Corruption (FLAC) INDONESIA is such a Social Movement initiator, which brings passion for fight corruption in Indonesia with some fun activities and a target is children. He asks children to avoid corruption by giving them some storytelling so it must be more attractive and innovative for children. He want to embed a anti corruption value for children. He also told us to always following our passion and do not be afraid if you want to take something serious with the fun way. It sometimes easier to do. He also gave us some spirit to not to give up whatever it takes. He told us that he had been rejected by one director of company because she doubted about FLAC. But after FLAC Indonesia successfully went to Brazil and did some storytelling there, that director went back to FLAC and offered to do a cooperation. Do not ever doubt yourself eventhough everyone around you do. Because only you that know what exactly happened.
The last speaker that we had is Revaldo Fanther. He also fresh graduated from mechanics engineering UI. He currently being a motivator and he had so many inspirational storie for us. He told us that we actually have so many ways to achieve our goals if we open our mind and see all chances around us. Wherever we stand, we will find our own way to get knowledge. He said that the weakness of Indonesia’ young people is they are less giving contribution for our beloved country. They more likely to do makes happy themselves without seeing their environment. And the last one that he said to us is: be impactfull Indonesia youth! And do not stop to giving contribution for our country.

-GAS-